Tools For Problem Solving
by sakiko of soleana
Summary: what happens when you take a bunch of charachters from books,vidio games,anime,manga,and my world of random reality and stick them all into one story where any thing can happen? well i'll tell you what happens.One heck of a story! Tools For Probem Solvig!
1. introduction

This story is dedicated to all my friends and my brother and sister. So they can see how random and creative I can be…

not to mention how much this shows that I have no life…

Introduction

- chemistry lab some where in ocean ridge.

"Here goes!"

"No you stupid son of a-"-BLAMO-"aw nasty"

"inu-yasha you are in so much trouble!!"

"It's not my fault!"

"Oh god it's in my eyes!!"

"Aw it smells horrible!"

"You idiot!"

Eria wiped the gunk off her face. "In yak! What the hell man!"

inuyasha hunched over.

"Where's Kari when you need here?"

eria smacked the back of inuyasha's head.

"It's 'her' 'upid!"

sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

"I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots."

"Hey I may be stupid but I'm not an idiot!"

everyone stayed quiet as inuyasha just stood there next to the water tank filled up with pride on the rather...ignorant sentance he just said...

"I rest my case."Said sesshomaru.

"Hey!"

"okay you guys we have to clean this mess!"

"I don't wanna!"

"You know if they didn't let you go to the bathroom before you die that would be a cruel and unusual punishment."

Everything in the room suddenly turned to zero the vampire.

"Nani?"

Eria smacked the vampire.

"You said you wouldn't make any more puns!"

Zero scoffed and gave the girl a look.

"oh yeah? And how 'bout the time you promised you wouldn't watch dirty movies?"

Eria frowned and glared at the vampire figure in front of her.

"Don't change the subject!"

"i guess this means were gonna have a normal day huh?"

"how can THIS be considered normal?"

"MY EYES!!"

*opening song*

Some people think they're always right

Others are quiet and uptight

Others who seem so nice-ice-ice-ice-ice

Oh

Inside they might feel sad and wrong

Oh no

29 different attributes

Only 7 that you like

Uh oh

20 ways to see the world

20 ways to start a fight

Oh don't don't don't get up

I can't see the sunshine

I'll be waiting for you baby

'Cause I'm through

Sit me down

Shut me up

I'll calm down

And I'll get along with you

Oooooooo-oooo-oooooh

Oh men don't notice what what they got

Women think of that a lot

1000 ways to please your man

Oh oh

Not even one requires a plan

I know

Countless odd religions too

It doesn't matter which you choose

One stubborn way to turn your back

This I've tried and now refuse

Oh don't don't don't get up

I can't see the sunshine

I'll be waiting for you, baby

'Cause I'm through

Sit me down

Shut me up

Ill calm down

And I'll get along with you

Alright …

Shut me up

Shut me up up up up oh

And I'll get over you

(you only live once By the strokes .)

We'll see you in the first chapter Dear Aquaman

DOT DOT CURVE :)


	2. Chapter 1 Dear Aquaman

ALRIGHTY THEN! Yeah first chapter! …Yeah!

So uhm right! DISCLAIMER- I don't own twilight, naruto, inuyasha, harvest moon, tuna salads you know the crappy ones from school lunch, uh... my friends, linkin park, negima, whatever book or anime that comes on here and uh …so yeah… party… okay lets go on to the story so people won't have to waist there time reading this.

Chapter one

Dear Aquaman

"So kaname how's you're cous cous?" asked Eria eating her school lunch.

"Yum yum." He responded eating his chick food.

"Yo when are we leaving?"Asked zero impatiently.

"whenever the weekend comes." Answered kisana.

Here in ocean ridge academy it was Friday. Everyone was quiet.

"TODAY IS FRIDAY?!" shouted AJ surprised and severely confused.

Every one nodded.

"Wow I hardly noticed."

Then in the attempt to lose the boring conversation, naruto then had a "brilliant" idea.

And so he proceeded to ask.

"Hey how come girls are so mean just because they have boobs?"

Roxy just gave him a look while sakura spit out her apple juice, every other girl just stared at the boy.

Soon enough, the boy pulled on his shirt and pretended to have something he could never have unless he was a girl or he was really fat. I mean like 300pnds of fat!

"Hey check it out! OMG. How like so kawaii, I'm like wearing a shirt that is so revealing but like everyone is a jerk because they are staring at me, I'm just wearing this for no reason and I just like the attention! I'm just so bad!"

the boys at the table started to laugh a little.

"Ha-ha!"Naruto then pulled on the shirt even more.

"Hey check it out I'm sakiko and if I grow a little more I'll be sakiyori!"he said in the best girly voice he could master.

Every boy in the table was laughing, the girls then gasped.

The table suddenly got quiet even the people around them shut up.

"Uhhh… Naruto…shut up…naruto." as naruto laughed like a maniac, sasuke who was apparently sitting in front of the boy kicked the boy from under the table.

"Ow what was THAT for TEME?!"

sasuke pointed behind the boy.

"Oh…the girl is right behind me isn't she?" Nod. Naruto slowly turned around and met none other than the twins sakimori and sakiyori.

"Ah! S-s-s-sa-saki-ki-ko uh ch-chan h-hi uh…s-saki-yo-yori-ch-cha-chan hi…ehe…" he said nervously.

"What did you say about us just now naruto?" asked sakiko a dark aura forming around her.

"Yes why don't you repeat that sentence ne…" sakiyori smiled an evil smile."W-well I uh…uh…uh…" not really finding anything to say.

-Kerplunk-*drip*drip*

Naruto had his face smashed into a tuna salad.

"Awwwwwww!! Gross! I hate tuna salad!"He exclaimed.

"Next time I won't go so easy on you" said sakiko flexing out her arm.

"You go girl!"

"Okay okay, so…sakiko now that you are here we can have our staff meeting." Said sesshomaru.

"Woah, woah, woah…we have a staff?!" said eria.

"Yes we do, any ways back on to the subject. We're here to discuss inuyasha's lack of common sense and mainly…brain cells."

Inuyasha glared at his brother.

"oh come on! It was an accident! I didn't know you can't mix-" Kari interrupted him.

"We get it inuyasha."

Sakiyori sighed a long sigh and sat next to her two comrades.

"well we can deal with inu-dork for now but what we really need to discuss is right now people are either reading or watching us but they have no idea who or what we are." said Kisana impatiently.

"What the hell are you talking about kisana? Who's watching us? Are lives are being recorded?! How many days are in a year?! I CAN'T REMEMBER AHHH!! PEOPLE!!AHHHHHHHHHHH!!" jasper ran out of the cafeteria and down the hall, sadly his little…outburst was then stopped by a teacher opening a door.

-SLAM-*thud*

Alice smiled "well! Lucky me now I have a good excuse to skip class! Bye!"

the cafeteria was quiet for about a minute.

"CAN'T WE EVER HAVE A NORMAL DAY IN THIS SCHOOL?!"

-SPEAKER- "Ms. Medlock's class is leaving."

"That's my queue! Later!" Bryan stood up and patted everyone's head as a good bye

"bye squishy!" he patted sakiko's head.

Then he left not saying good bye to roxy.

"You don't say by to me you bastard?!" she ran after him.

"Ow! Stop hitting me it hurts!"

Kristen and Johny sighed.

"and there ladies and gentlemen there lies the sign that today is a regular yet odd day."

Derik suddenly lifted his head

"what sign?"

kisana was quiet

"I don't know I'm just bored." She mumbled

-kogome's dorm

inuyasha made muffins

… Some story this was. ¬¬'


	3. Chapter 2 AnimeManga

Alright! Second chapter! Thank you for being patient! Now for the second chapter. Also I would like to inform this chapter is going to be a little longer. I promise the third chapter is going to make a little more sense. I'm just putting the chapters in chronological order for now. Kind of like the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya only this is more like a complete comedy, school day, drama, action story.

Well enough wasting time. On to the story!

PUHAHA!-cough- I mean MUAHAHA! XD

Chapter Two

Anime/Manga

-somewhere in ocean ridge

-uchiha/soleana dorm

*beep**be-beep**beee-clack-

"Hnnnnnnnnnn…"sasuke let out a tired HN.

Slowly he sat up and glared at the clock.

It was five thirty a.m.

Today was Wednesday.

Only two more days, not including today of course, of work and suffering until the wonderful weekend to begin.

Great.

"Oy. Why? I hate the morning…"

Then he noticed.

"That's strange…one I wake up at six two…sakiko should be up by now."

*BEEEEEEEEE* "AHHHH!"*EEEEEEE*-thunk- "OW!" –WHOMP-*EEEEEEEEEEEP*-clank--clatter-

"Ah, there she is."

-five minutes later.

"Owwwwwwwwwww."

"Quit complaining."

"The phrase 'Ow' is not a complaint you jerk it states that the person is in pain."

"Well I'm sorry, I only understand standard Japanese."

Pissed, Sakiko suddenly started pulling on sasuke's cheeks.

"Itai, itai, itai, itai, itai, ittttaaaaaaiiiii!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh I'm sorry. I only understand Standard English! BAKA!"

"Ssshhhthhoooop!"

"Nani?"

"Stop!"

"NEVER!"

Sakiko continued on pulling on his cheeks, the way an aunt you've never even heard of before, pulls on your cheeks when she sees you.

Everyone knows how that is.

"Itai!"

-

Sasuke and sakiko were walking down the streets. Sasuke's cheeks were bright red, while sakiko held a new bump on her head.

"I hate you." Stated sasuke, rubbing his cheek.

"Get used to it."

Sakiko's vain popped out on the side of her head.

You know the one they show in anime shows or in manga?

The big red ones?

Yeah those.

Any way enough with the explanation back to the story!

The two walked down the street rather peacefully with no interruptions or anything exploding in their faces.

But then in the prime of her boredom sakiko decided to do something that would amuse her.

"Sasuke you've gotten fatter."

"NANI?!"

"Well you have I mean look at this fattiness."

Sakiko grabbed some of the skin on Sasuke's arm.

"Look at it it's flabby…"

Sakiko poked it. Then she poked it again.

Then with a small giggle she began poking it over and over, like how a child entertains itself by throwing its toy on the ground so someone would pick it up for its own amusement , or how when you tell someone to repeat a word or a sentence over and over just because you think it's funny.

"Hee, hee, hee"

"Fattiness isn't a word! And further more-STOP POKING ME!"

"What are you talking about of course it's a word! Type it in Microsoft word. That little red thingy doesn't pop out."

"Does it look like I have a computer on me?"

"Yes."

"YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE ONE YOU JERK!"

"I do?"

"…"

"I like muffins too let's get some!"

"I didn't even say anything!"

"Okay you treat! Let's go!"

Sakiko walked away while sasuke stood there in the middle of the side walk, his eye twitching.

"YOU'RE INSANE!"

"VILMA!"

-somewhere on the same street.

Four boys walked down the side walk, all of them in their uniforms and in serious need of coffee.

It was now a wonderful six a.m.(yeah right) here in ocean ridge academy.

"I'm tired!!!"

"We know sparky we know."

"I want pancakes!"

"I want pancakes, I want waffles, I want-"

"Sing one more note of that song and ill personally make sure you'll never want waffles for a while…"hissed Julian tired and rather mad at max for singing this early in the morning.

"~YAAAAWWN~ why do we have to get up so early?!"Complained sparky tired.

"Because society is a jerk."

"A.J. don't you mean the government?"

A.J. stopped for a moment.

His eyes unfocused, his messy skater boy hair, moving in the wind.

"…"

"A.J. we don't have time to wait for your epiphany, we need to go!" said max.

"HAHAHAHA!"

Everyone was a little set back due to A.J.'s sudden burst of laughter.

"~yawn~ well we should be getting to the breakfast thing." Said A.J. recuperated.  
"Hi mariko-chan!"

"Hi Julian!"

The group walked in silence.

"Come on sasuke we'll be late! You know how the guys hate my lateness!"

"Is that even a word?"

"Yes it is! Don't you ever use Microsoft?!"

"I'm a Macintosh Apple!"

The two ran past the small group.

"Sakiko-Chan we're right here." Stated max.

The girl stopped and turned around, pulling Sasuke's arm in the meantime causing him to trip.

"ITAI!"

"Hey you guuuuuuuuuys!"

"Hey squishy, ducky butt."

Sasuke glared at A.J.

"Don't call me that Anthony!"

Sakiko smacked sasuke.

"Only **I** am aloud to call him Anthony Jonathan Carmona, is that clear?"

Sasuke gulped.

"Y-yes sakiko."

The girl turned to the group.

"So what's goin' on?"

"We're walking!" said Julian

"I'm hungry. Are we going to the cafeteria for free, cheap, breakfast?" asked sasuke.

Sakiko not really paying attention, just stared at the sky.

The boys nodded in unison.

"To the breakfast thing!" shouted sparky.

-Third cafeteria C building

"Hmm let's see…what's on the menu…" A.J. picked up a paper menu from a small menu…holding thingy…I think it's called a stool.

Forgive me I don't know EVERYTHING.

"Aww! It's in Chinese!"

"Uhm. A.J. the menu is upside down." Stated max.

"I knew that I was just…testing you." He said slowly turning the menu with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah…sure." Commented sparky.

"Come on lets go get some breakfast!" said Julian hungrily.

-7:30a.m.

"Oha-

-7:31a.m.

-Blam- "OW!"

Sakiko opened the door to her home room class.

"Sakimori Alexandria of soleana, you are late!" said the teacher rather mad at the girl.

"Miss I'm not late I'm just not early!"

"Just go to your desk already."

Sakiko took her place next to sasuke and behind kogome and Sango.

Behind her sat Sparky and A.J.

She let out a sigh and took out a manga to read.

Everyone knew she hated that class.

And yet it was hard to believe that even though she never really paid any attention. She had pretty good test scores.

-2:30p.m.

"~wai I'm so glad I'm out of that school already!"

Sakiko walked next to sesshomaru and sasuke, a simple smile on her lips.

"Same here." Said sesshomaru giving a perfect yawn and a small stretch. He was content.

"Hay. Sesshi, sasuke."

"Hai?" the two answered at the same time.

"Jinks! You owe me a soda!"Stated sesshomaru.

"Dammit!"

(AN: just so you know of course no one will ever act like this. But who cares my story! Nya!)

Sakiko smiled.

"Look who's waiting for you."

The two boys gasped.

"CRAP!"

"RUN LIKE HELL!"

A horde of fan girls chased after them.

"SEE YOU AT HOME SASUKE! BYE SESSHI!"

Sakiko giggled and went on her way home.

Once there she went to her room and fell asleep on the lower bunk of her bunk bed.

-5:30p.m.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AHHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Sakiko woke up to Sasuke's screams and the "KYA!"S of fan girls.

Grumpy sakiko opened her window and saw a bunch of fan girls chasing a small group of boys, vampires and werewolves.

"GET A LIFE!" shouted sakiko to the girls.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" shouted sasuke.

Sakiko laughed and closed her window.

She really felt sorry for the pretty people. Fans can sometimes forget that the ones they admire so much can get depressed if they lose control.

"Poor sasuke." She mumbled.

"OH, WELL!" sakiko laughed and decided to do her homework for once.

"Okay let's see…y=mx+b…crap…"

-one hour later

-6:30p.m.

A large gloom lay over sakiko's head. He hated math.

"Okay…number 22…y=values-distance…0-1500ft…what is that supposed to mean?!"

_*~tune~ Myaa Myaa Myankology de Jinrui mya? To TOREBIA~N!*_

"Nani?" sakiko picked up her cell phone.

"Hai, moshi moshi?"

"Ah sakiko-Chan moshi moshi! Its Johnny, we wanted to know if you understand the math homework anko-sensei assigned us?"

Sakiko drew back a little.

"Who's 'we'?" asked sakiko.

"Michaels with me."

"(HI SAKIKO!)"

She heard her friend's voice in the background.

"Hi mike! Okay let's see if we can do this!"

----------

"So y=speed, and the speed of the train is 450. So the answer must be…6,200ft per minute."

Silence was heard in the other line.

"Sakiko-Chan…that doesn't make any sense…"

"Ahhh…"

Sakiko banged her head on the table.

And there you have it folks! Chapter three!

And now for the bonus!

"Sakiko I didn't get it. What the hell is the moral of the story?"

Sasuke stood impatiently next to sakiko.

"Well looks like we'll need help from yakko." Said sakiko.

"The dude from animaniacs?" asked sasuke.

"YES! YAKKO! The wheel of morality please!"

"With pleasure sakiko!" yakko then proceeded

"Wheel of morality turn turn turn tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number 2!"

Yakko proceeded to rip out the paper that printed from the wheel of morality.

"When at first you don't succeed, blame your parents."

Sakiko smiled at the puppy like creature.

"Awesome! That's all folks see you next chapter! Chapter 3!"

Sasuke nodded. "The first night!"

"Thanks for reading!"

"And remember to review!"

"Goodnight everybody!"

HA! This was awesome. I actually enjoyed writing this chapter. Thank you for reading and for your patience. See you next time! YARUTANE!

Translation notes:

Nani=What

Itai=Ow

Baka=Idiot

Moshi moshi? =Hello? (Only said on the phone.)

Yarutane!= see you later!


	4. Chapter 3 the first night

And now we are on chapter 3!

Awesome!!!!... Well now… uhm I guess that's pretty much it. I would like to say that this chapter is a little more serious and well it might be a little confusing. This chapter states how sakiko-Chan first arrives on ocean ridge, and how her roommate first met her. I know it sucks.

Now for the sake of copyright I have to say this

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, inuyasha, twilight, vampire night, sonic the hedgehog, halo, Microsoft, dance dance revolution, belly burner or any of the various things I write about in this story.

Now on to chapter 3

The first night.

-somewhere in ocean ridge academy

-uchiha/soleana dorm

It was a nice Saturday morning here in ocean ridge.

It was eleven in the morning and sasuke slept peacefully on the couch with the TV on. Right now they were giving the news.

Sakiko on the other hand was sleeping in the top bunk of her bunk bed. Not a care in the world.

That is until…

-BAM- "YEEEEAAAAH!!!!!" "What the-?!"-Muffled-"AHHHHH!"-Thud-

Sasuke fell of the couch, surprised and annoyed. Sakiko being surprised by the noise fell off her bed.

"Sakiko!"

"Yeah!!!!"

"Jacob what the hell are you doing here?!" said sasuke intensely aggravated at the werewolf.

The hybrid renesmee appeared and sat on the couch. "He's just exited because he won some lunch tickets." She looked bored.

"I don't care how exited he is! I'm tired of people bursting into my dorm! How the hell do you guys get in here anyway? We changed the locks three times already! Oh god, you broke the door! Jacob you're paying for that!"

Jacob on the other hand wasn't really listening and proceeded to do the worm.

"Sasuke, the lesson that you and sakiko never learn is that, sure you change the locks, but you don't change the lock smith."

Sasuke glared at the youngest Cullen vampire.

"…I hate you."

Jacob continued to make noise.

"Oh yeah! Uh-huh!"

"Jacob will you pipe down-"

Everything suddenly got quiet.

A dark aura surrounded the room.

"TEME…HOW DARE YOU WAKE ME UP THIS EARLY!!"

Sakiko was up. And she wasn't happy.

"EEP!"

"I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU WON. DON'T WAKE ME UP AT THIS TIME EVER!!!"

"NOT THE FACE!"

Half an hour later.

"~flip pancakes in the air~"

Sakiko was in the kitchen making pancakes.

"~his favorite shape will be a star~"

Out in the living room/dining room, was sasuke, renesmee, and Jacob who apparently was bruised.

Sasuke stared at Jacob with a "man she got you good" kind of expression.

While renesmee told him. "I told you, you shouldn't have burst in here. Now you made her mad."

Jacob whimpered "I thought she'd be happy with my victory."

"You know she hates it when someone wakes her up for no reason."

Sakiko continued on with her nonsense song.

"~ his favorite shape will be a star~"

"~ooooh! You made waffles!!!"

"…pancakes…"

Jacob continued with his whimpering.

"Did you learn a lesson my good friend?" asked sakiko.

Jacob nodded and sulked.

"Aw don't be sad. Who's a good boy?"

"…me…"

"Who's a good boy?"

"Me."

"Who's a good boy-yo? Huh? Who's a good boy?"

"ME."

Sakiko started petting her friend.

Renesmee started laughing her cute laugh. Sasuke just chuckled and chomped down his first pancake.

They were delicious…

Sakiko giggled a little.

Today was Saturday. It was gonna rain.

"Sakiko-Chan do you know where the vacuum is? I feel like bothering sesshomaru." Said sasuke, while entering sakiko's room. Suddenly he remembered the time he brought the vacuum to sessho's dorm. Inuyasha and sesshomaru started to panic, both of them barking at the thing.

"Hee."

She was, sadly, asleep on the lower bunk bed. She seemed to be at piece.

She would usually sleep through thunder storms, why was-

*thunder clap*

"Huh…"

Sasuke sighed and decided to sit on one of the bean bags she had scattered in a corner.

Then he went off into a dream. The first night he met her.

" Itachi! Itachi!!" it was dark probably around four in the morning.

"Nanio tsunade?"

"Grab some quilts and some towels, were going to need it!"

The blond woman suddenly ran outside.

"But tsunade!"

Chizune and orochumaru were up too, both of them running out the door.

"aniki, what's goin' on?" a six year old sasuke woke up from his sleep.

"Go back to bed little brother."

"Itachi?"

The boy ran down stairs.

He took two towels and a large blanket, with time he set fire to the fireplace.

Somehow he knew tsunade will need it.

"Aniki?" a six year old sasuke walked down the stairs rather clumsily. He was sleepy and rather confused.

"ITACHI!"

Tsunade burst through the door, wet from the ocean waves and rain. Some might say she was crazy for running out in the middle of the night and getting wet at this time of year.

It was winter, and it was raining cold rain out.

"Itachi set the fire place we-"

"Has been set."

"Good our guest here will need a warm place for now."

Sasuke looked at his guardian rather confused.

In her arms was a bundle.

He wanted to see what it was. Maybe it was a puppy! If sasuke was good maybe he could keep it, pet it and have it as a friend. It was lonely in this mansion.

Especially when Itachi and tsunade would leave. There was only the maid Chizune. She was no fun.

"Keep her warm Itachi, dry her up first. I'll make some soup." Tsunade ran towards the kitchen, not really caring if she were to get wet.

"Itachiiiiiiii… nandayo?"

The little boy went up to his brother.

"Well it seems we have a guest."

"IS IT A PUPPY?"

The little boy looked at his brother, anticipation in his eyes.

"No… it's someone else."

Itachi rolled his eyes.

'Foolish little brother' he thought.

"Well then, what is it?"

In the thirteen year olds arms was… A monkey.

Naw I'm just kidding.

In his brothers arms was a little girl.

Around Sasuke's age.

I'm sorry but I have a head ache.

My head is going to pop out of my brain.

Sasuke: is that even possible

Who knows? I'm dying here.

Sasuke: *grabs a paint brush. Starts brushing sakiko's arm*

What do you think you're doing?

Sasuke: I'm painting you purple.

…

Sasuke: You look like Barney.

What does this have to do with any of the story?

Sasuke: I don't really know but I'm having fun. Headache gone now? Or do the readers still have to read this.

Good point my old friend. –Looks at reader- seriously read on.

The young boy stared at the girl. She had bright blue eyes and coal black hair, her skin was pale, too pale.

Sasuke couldn't help but think he wouldn't be lonely anymore.

Even if she was a girl, at least he would have someone to play with.

"She looks boring." Mumbled sasuke.

" Sasuke, don't be so mean." Said Itachi

"Well what's your name?" asked the little boy curiously.

The girl just looked at him curiously.

"Ne what's your name?"

The girl just stared at him and smiled. She couldn't understand, and in frustration, sasuke just pouted.

"Hmmm do you want me to give you a name?" he asked rather innocently.

She just stared at him and smiled a little.

"I'll take that as a yes. Hmmmm what should I name you?" the little boy pondered for a minute.

"Sasuke she's a girl not your pe-"

"I KNOW! I'll call you pochirii!"

Itachi gave his brother an anime sweat drop, and a puzzled look.

"You're worse than inuyasha." He mumbled

"Aniki, first I have no idea who that guy is, second she likes the name! Look she's smiling!"

Sasuke sat down with a huff.

"Humph! Well at least she likes it, right pochirii?"

The girl just smiled. She didn't really know what was going on. All she knew was that she was safe.

"Well I don't think that is a good name for a girl." Said Itachi, drying the bundle in his arms.

She just stayed quiet without complaining.

"hmmm okay fine, I'll pick out a new name…. hmmmmmmm… Hmmm… I know! She will have my name too! Only for a girl! Her name will be sasuki!"

Itachi felt like shooting himself.

"sasuke…if you ever say that again I swear I will kill you…"

Sasuke wasn't paying any attention.

"hmm, can you say that sasuki? Say sasuke."

The little boy smiled at the little girl. The small moment looked almost like a boy talking to his pet parrot.

"…"

She said nothing

"sasuke."

"sa…ke.."

"she said my name!"

"no she didn't she just called you a bottle of wine!"

"no, she said my name! right sasuki?"

"sa…s..gay.."

"are?"

Fist Itachi made this face ಠ_ಠ, and then Itachi tried hard not to laugh.

"sas..gay…"

"no its sasuke, saaassske!"

"sasgay."

"close enough…" said tsunade.

She came into the room with a hot bowl of rammen.

"tsunade-sama. What should we do with the girl?"

"she is to stay until we figure out who she is."

The boy stayed quiet, not really paying attention to the others.

He just stared at the girl. She had piercing blue eyes.

"your too pale, you look like a ghost."

Sasuke played a little with her hair, it was soft and dark like ravens.

It only came up to her shoulders.

The two just payed attention to each other. Sasuke knew she would make an impact on his life.

One he won't be alone.

And two… she will eventually drive him to insanity in just a couple of years.

"well we need to see what we'll do with her."

"maybe we can send her to someone. She's entirely human."

"maybe she can learn forbidden science?"

"no! those people will kill her if she fails one test!"

"maybe she can go to the magics."

"like I said she is completely human. No power, no anything."

"tsunade-sama."

"yes sasuke?"

Sasuke made the cutest face he could master.

"can I keep her? Ill feed her and everything! She can stay in my room! I don't want her to leave."

Tsunade stared at the boy.

"please?!"

______________________________________________________________

The girl had some pink pajamas with teddy bear designs.

"..." the girl seemed un-comfterble in the room everything was dark and she wanted light.

"you're afraid of the dark to huh?"

Who wouldn't be afraid of the dark at age six?

"…"

The boy crawled out of his bed and snuggled in with her.

"I'm afraid too…"

The girl smiled at him.

"good night. Sasuki"

"sasgay."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"sakiko-Chan come on!"

Sasuke ran up a small hill.

"I want to show you my secret place!"

It has been a month, and the girl hasn't spoken a word. She had a name now, sakimori or sakiko for short since sasuke couldn't pronounce it.

"sakiko-Chan come on!"

The girl hurried to her friend. Passed the hill and a little past the trees, there was some noise. There was a river that formed into a small waterfall then a lake then a steady river once more. Around that scene there were raspberry and wild strawberry bushes. It was beautiful.

"this is where I come when I feel lonely. Now you can come with me and play!"

"…"

Sakiko smiled at the boy. She hugged him and giggled.

"I love you sasuke!"

The little boy blushed as the girl repeated her words.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"SASUKE!"

"ah?"

Sasuke woke up from his dream.

"sasuke get up, your snoring sounds like a motor."

Sasuke frowned " oh like you don't snore."

"I don't thank you. I keep my mouth closed."

"Hn!"

"abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz"

"what was that for?"

"no idea now come on! Sesshomaru is going to beat your high score!"

"on what?"

"Mrs. Pacman!"

"LIKE HELL HE IS!"

Sasuke ran into the living room.

Sakiko sighed at the curses and complaints, she just smiled and shook her head.

"I wonder what he was dreaming about."

And there you have it chapter 3! I know it sucks but bear with me.

Anyways sorry for taking so long for updating! My internet has been cut off so yeah… my bad….

Aniki: bro.

"I'm a skat man! Ski-bi-"

"sing one more note of that song and I swear I will kill you sakiko"

"whats up with you sesshomaru? Inuyasha sit on your tail again?"

"NO!"

"then why are you complaining? Okay folks its that time again!"

"to discuss how hot I am?" sesshomaru said smirking.

"no."

"to convince people to send us candy?!"

"that's not a bad idea sessho you have some potential, but no."

"what do you mean I don't have potential?"

"never mind that, it's time for the wheel of morality."

"OH!"

"now on with the turning! Yakko if you can."

The dog like creature smirked at the girl.

"I can and I will!

Wheel of morality turn turn turn

Show us the lesson that we should learn.

Moral number six"

Yakko ripped the paper from the printer.

"…"

"what?"

"its blank"

Ō_Ō

"okay we'll just make one up… uhhh… don't eat led?"

"that's a tip. Why don't we make the tip…koalas have pouches like kangaroos."

"I don't know about you but I'm touched."

Sakiko just looked at yakko

"I'm not saying anything… well thank you for reading chapter three."

"up next is chapter four! Imaginary cake!"


	5. Chapter 4 imaginary cake!

Oh sweet joy now we are on chapter four….okay yah…I'm sorry it's just that I'm soooooo tired.

Inuyasha: quit complaining start….typing…thing.

But I'm-

Inuyasha: TYPE IT!

Nyeeeeeeeeehhhhh…….

Chapter 4

God I wish I had a Klondike bar…

Dorms ocean ridge academy – 5 am

"SASUKE WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-BAM-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke ran out of his dorm room screaming like a little girl with his hair on fire , sakiko trailing behind him with a fire extinguisher and a piece of burnt toast in her mouth.

'Argh sasuke that idiot. How is it even possible, that he made our new toaster explode?' sakiko thought gagging at the disgusting piece of toast in her mouth.

Oh well this is how things usually start in ocean ridge. You as the reader should not be surprised.

'Exactly narrator.' Thought sakiko not really realizing that she is breaking the fourth wall and that as a punishment she will have the letter 'E' dropped on her head.

"How the hell am I breaking the fourth wall? I'm just agreeing with you! And besides, we stated that we had readers on chapter one!"

STOP REMINDING PEOPLE ABOUT REALLITY!

-BANG-

"OW!"

sakiko stared at the giant letter 'E' on the floor.

"I hate you." She hissed.

A group of students just stared at the girl who apparently was talking to no one from their point of view. But sadly she's actually talking to a bunch of letters that appear on a computer screen of some bored teenager's laptop from your point of view. But to my point of view… sakiko is actually talking to a pony.

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE YOU STUPID-DONG- OW!"

Sakiko now glared at the letter U that sat on the floor.

As for the students, they stood horrified at how a huge letter could suddenly come out of nowhere and hit a girl on the head, who is apparently talking to no one and has a burnt piece of toast in her left hand and a fire extinguisher in her right.

The students just passed her a very concerned look on their faces.

Sakiko noticed this, and growled.

"SAKIKO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She sighed as sasuke called her. She could hear his girly scream from the second floor, and the dorm she and sasuke lived in was on the sixth floor.

-Second floor

"Come on Michael were going to be late!"

"I'm comin' I'm comin'!"

"Michael!"

"Alright Johnny!"

Johnny shook his head at his friend.

"Anyways in my opinion I believe-"

Just as Johnny opened the door.

"YAH!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke passed by his door, screaming like a girl and with his head on fire.

This just left Johnny speechless.

Sakiko passed by the door 5 seconds later.

"Hi Johnny, Michael."

She smiled at the two boys that just stood by the door speechless.

Michael then decided that he should break the silence.

"Well that was new!"

"it burns!!!!!!"

-Opening… just go back to the first chapter the song is there…-

-Brrriiiiiinnnng-

The bell rung for the morning announcing that students should be heading for class.

Sasuke was already in his seat, a skully covering his hair.

"Sasuke you know hats are prohibited in class."

Naraku who was the math teacher swiped the skully from sasuke.

"no wait-"

By the way those of you who are wondering what a skully is. It's a hat that people wear in the winter. Or just type it on Google you'll find it there.

Naraku just stared at sasuke, his hair looked like the regular duck feather style except with some burnt hair and a small bald spot on the side of his head with only one hair sticking out.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!? I MEAN HEAD!?"

Sasuke blushed with embarrassment.

"I accidentally blew up the new toaster and that set my hair on fire."

Naraku just quirked a brow.

"How did you do that? it's a toaster. It's kinda hard to make it explode; unless you dipped it in water… did you dip it in water?"

"No I just stuck four pieces of bread in the slots. I was in a hurry."

Naraku chuckled and handed sasuke the hat.

"You dork. Here wear it until you get a new hair style or it grows again just to save you the embarrassment. I remember when I set my hair on fire."

"the hell did that happen?"

"kiyoko suddenly had the 'bright' idea to set one of her bows on fire…"

"I see…"

"yup."

Naraku opened the door and let some students come in.

-Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnng-

"That's the late bell. Oha-"

-Bam!-

Sakiko rubbed her fore head as she entered the class.

"Sakiko why can't you ever come on time to class?"

"Because I'm not late I'm just not early!"

Naraku just sighed.

Sakiko sat down at her desk and opened up her math book disgusted.

"Sakiko I know you think math is useless. But it can be necessary. So just do as I say!"

"Naraku as much as I love to bug you and every now and then make fun of you. Please answer this question for me. WHEN THE FANDANGO WILL I EVER USE CALCULUS?"

"Fandango?"

"skalamush skalamush will you do the fandango?"

"shut up neji."

"Bohemian rhapsody!"

"Queen **Rules**!"

Naraku just stared at the girl.

"You're disturbing the class!!!"

"Thought so…"

"are you implying that i don't have an answer?"

"are you implying that you actually dont have an answer by questioning me?"

"are you questioning my authority?"

"do you like waffles?"

"what does that have to do with our current conversation?"

"actually its a current questioning. and im just bored cuz this is going no where and you keep on dragging me away from the main subject."

"no im not! math can be good!"

"yeah. sure."

"BUT ITS TRUE!"

"naraku take a look at my face, the way you would when you look at the beatles when theyre playing their awsome songs. seriously take a look at my face."

"yeah and?"

"am i bufverd?"

"what?!"

"am i bubbered?"

"sakiko i dont have time for-"

"take a good look at my face am i bufverd?"

"i-"

"take a look at my face. am i bubbered?"

"sakiko-"

"are those new shoes?"

"wha?!"

"am i bovered?"

"your disturbing the class!

the two stayed quiet.

"you still havent answered my question."

"AARRRG!"

-2:20pm ocean ridge

It was now the last period which is literature.

The sensei was none other than-

Kakashi.

Sakiko smiled as she entered the classroom.

Sadly, the fact that kakashi's class was the most flexible not to mention fun, kind of threw off the fact that the hyper active teenagers are supposed to be learning.

Have you ever been in one of those fun classes where you don't do anything and you get an A? Then where you finally do something you get a D for the class?

Yeah let's just say that Kakashi was like that one teacher you had.

"Sakimori uchiha you are late again."

"I'm always late Mr."

"Don't get fresh with me."

Sakiko rolled her eyes and just sat down at her desk.

Thank god this was the last period of the day.

"eto…sasuke, lend me your phone?"

"why do you want my phone?"

"I wanna text."

"get your own cell phone!"

"you know I'm not rich."

"okay okay."

Sakiko started playing with Sasuke's phone.

"who are you texting sakiko?"

asked kakashi who was reading his icha fantacy. how sad.

"I'm texting summer, Andrea, and Adriana."

"tell em i said hi"

Sakiko looked at sasuke and sighed.

"what's wrong??"

"I hate you; you have everything I want…"

"not my fault everyone has more money than you."

"HMPH!"

ino laughed as she told some gossip to her plastics.

"ugh. how disgousting.." mumbled sakiko to sasuke.

ino laughed again.

"Anyways miss. I'm a fake uchiha why don't you ever ask your parents for money? Oh that's right you don't have any!"

Sakiko glared at Ino.

ino just smiled at the girl.

"well at least my name doesn't mean MOUNTAIN BOAR. danm plastic chick."

Half of the class laughed at the small joke.

"Well I have a family name, not the name of the family that adopted you, because they felt so sorry for you- oh how sad that such a proud family had to deal with a lowly peasant like you."

The plastic group giggled and smirked.

Sakiko just rolled her eyes and kept on texting.

"look, she can't even give me a good comeback."

"actually you stupid slut I can give you a good comeback! The only problem is that you are so dumb you won't even comprehend the meaning of my insults! You selfish cosmetic whore!!!"

Ino fumed as sasuke just smirked.

"oh don't irk her Ino It'll just make her mad!"

Sakiko smacked sasuke gently behind the head.

"hey!"

"shut up roomie or else you'll be eating junk tonight."

Sasuke pouted.

"Aw man! That means i'll be eating newspaper burritos again."

Suddenly the speakers hissed and a voice was heard.

"_sesshomaru turn it to the left!"_

"_(this way?)"_

"_no no! the other left!"_

"_(hey wait…. You're on! You're on!)"_

"_oh? Oh! Good afternoon ocean ridge! This is the afternoon announcements!"_

"_(no duh.)"_

"_shut up sesshomaru. Any-"_

Kakashi just turned the speakers off.

"I don't really feel like hearing jeans voice especially on the speakers ugh!"

"I know she Is so annoying!"

-BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING-

"okay class

"okay class I'll see you when I see you, and sakiko I need my book!"

"you jerk I need MY book!"

"too bad! Kogome has it."

"why kogome?"

"or wassit that Cullen kid?"

Sakiko sighed.

"oh by the way you're the helper next class, and ill return your video game tomorrow."

Sakiko walked out of the class. Today was….Friday…I think…

"today is Friday, you dumb narrator!"

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?!

"THERE IS NO WALL THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF LETTERS ON A COMPUTER SCREEN!!"

About probably an hour later

Sasuke walked down the hall it was finally time to go home, but something was wrong… what was it?

There was something going on, something out of place.

'did I eat something, or did sakiko put something in my food again? … nah… did I forget and assignment or a project? Did I- huh?'

Sasuke looked at the blob in front of him. Well It wasn't like a jaba from star wars or the blob from the horror film or the fat guy from x-men. It was more like a pile of letters with a hand sticking out from the top.

'then again it could be this' thought sasuke.

"uhhhh…. Hello? Is someone alive in there?" he asked.

"MMPHMHPHHMHPMHPMHPHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke stared at the pile.

"let me help you out. What did you say?"

He took the letters H and P along with an exclamation point.

"I said, get me out of here!"

"sakiko?"

Sakiko's head stuck out from the pile of letters.

"hey wassup."

"shouldn't you be home?"

"shouldn't you be shutting the hell up?"

"sakiko take notice that I can just leave you here."

"sasuke, take notice that you won't get food tonight, and when I escape I can just poison your food."

"I won't eat it then."

"fine. Then you can forget about eating onigiri tonight."

Sasuke smirked and stared at the pile.

"…"

Suddenly Sasuke's stomach growled.

"i'll just eat at taco bell."

Alice suddenly shouted at sasuke. Apparently she was in the hall with jasper and Edward when sakiko was talking.

"you're going to choose a cheap fast food over sakiko's cooking? Your own roomie?!"

Sasuke gave Alice a 'what?' look. then he returned to his roomie.

"…"

"…"

-grooooooowwwwl-

"okay ill get you out…"

"damn straight you will."

-dorms ocean ridge 6 pm

"okay sakiko, we seriously have a problem."

"what is it now?"

"we have a huge problem with this story."

"what?! What's the problem? Is the reader mad at me for breaking the fourth wall twice today?"

"more like three times cuz were talking about it right now."

Sakiko took out an umbrella.

"what's that for?"

"apparently the nararator doesn't really like me talking about reality."

"tell me about it."

Sasuke remembered the pile of letters.

"anyways I've gotten some comments that the story has no climax or a conflict or anything to make a story interesting."

"what comments?! There's only one review! Who talked to you? Was it Kakashi?"

"yes actually, he told me that in order to keep a person hooked on a story is to give them a conflict. Not just an entire comedy mash that goes nowhere."

"YOU'RE A JERK!"

Sasuke gave her a look.

"just think about it. And besides were three chapters behind schedule and were still unable to get to the serious part of the story, and no one knows how we look like."

True you might be reading this and think of the characters as stick people.

"fine."

You know this is getting on my nerves. Can't I just let this story continue on the next chapter?

"NO!"

Why not? I am writing this piece of junk anyway!

"you'll lose ten percent of your readers!"

I DON'T HAVE ANY!

"shut up you guys! You're making itchy cry!"

"who?"

Back to the bitter reality.

"fine… ill try to make a conflict. Okay?"

Sasuke smiled in satisfaction at sakiko.

"good. Now that that's taken care of now we have to talk about what were going to do for the summer."

"next chapter sasuke."

Sakiko smiled.

"okay you guys! Thank you for reading chapter 4 and soon will come chapter five! THE NETWORK!"

Oh god this chapter was terrible!

"hit it yakko!"

"wheel of morality turn turn turn tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number 4…"

"what's the moral yakko?" asked sakiko, who was patiently serving herself some food.

"never ask what hotdogs are made of."

Sasuke smacked his forehead. "OF COURSE! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!"

Well …. I have no idea how to end this story…

Inuyasha- I KNOW

-sizzle- KABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM-

-cough- Ow….


	6. Chapter 5 The Network

okay this is the fifth chapter....

yeah winter vacation.... hows it going?

Edward- you have no idea of what to write about do you?

no.... I'm just trying to see what i can come up with in the next fifteen minutes

chapter 5 the network

"oh jeez i cant believe it..... OROCHIMARU-SAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!"

"Yes sakiko?"

"okay we did not learn this, WHY THE HECK IS THIS ON THE TEST?!"

"what are you talking about?"

"this right here, we never learned about mitosis or photosynthesis theory." said sasuke pointing at the paper.

"oh... we didnt cover this...okay class were just going to take notes today, and later sakiko i can teach you about herbal poisons."

"awwwwwww." groaned the class

"HEY, would you rather be taking a 100 question test? i don't think sooooo." said eria.

* * *

"aww jesus i so do not want to go to kakashi's class right now." groaned sakiko

"anyway we need to talk sakiko, what the heck are we going to do today?" asked eria.

"try to get the people reading this to review our story and to get to know us better."

"why?"

"cuz people don'tlike pointlesslessness."

sakiko turned to the class room door.

"you know what?"

"wut?"

"cut to the opening song! why are we doing this?!"

=opening= go to the first chapter

sasuke looked in the mirror.

"mirror mirror on the wall who's the baldest one of all?" he asked his mirror. he stared at the bald spot on his head and the one little hair that stuck out.

"thats what you get for not really listening you know." sakiko came into the bathroom and punched sasuke's shoulder lightly.

"shut up! how was i supposed to know that you cant cram four pieces of toast in the toaster slots, and then shove it in there with a wet fork?!"

sakiko sighed at the boy. "there was a warning!! and duh only two slots! two toast!" she cried.

"well how was i supposed to know?!"

" your supposed to read the warnings sasuke, now i have to buy a new toaster, for the third time."

"hmph! whatever. not my problem."

"dont you even care about maintaining our dorm sasuke?"

"hn!"

"dont HN me!"

"HN!"

"fine you can froget about getting food tonight!"

she walked out of the bathroom.

"fine ill just get something to eat at puhahas house!"

he heard a slam from the front door. "jerk." he mumbled.

"..." 10 minutes passed. then 15.

"oh god! she meant it this time!" sasuke ran to her room.

her sweater, cell phone and ipod were gone along with her favorite boots.

"oh no...WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT?!" sasuke then bagan to panic.

"dont worry! shell be back, and besides she might be at the door waiting for you to come back to her!"

sasuke reasured himself. But something on the back of hid mind just poked it.

"she's not comming home for dinner... your screwed."

sasuke panicked again.

he ran for the door, hoping to god that sakiko was there waiting for him.

"sakiko im sorry!" he opened the door.

he did not see her any where.

* * *

* riiiiiiiiing riiiiiiiing*

"im comin im comin."

Michael grabbed the phone to answer.

-beep- " yellow?"

Michael heard sobbing and a miserable groan.

"what the-?!"

"mike...ngh."

"SASUKE?! what happened? why are you sobbing like a girl?"

"im-sniff- not sob- sobbing like a giiiiiiiirl!" he sobbed.

(just to say you all know half of the characters wont really act like this. like Edward Cullin dancing the cha-cha or sasuke getting along with his brother or the master cheif from halo actually trying to assasinate jerry lenno with a spoon)

"..." Michael just stared at the phone.

"what happened?"

"ngh! s-s-s-saki- ki-ki-ki-"

"zukini?"

"sakikooooooo! nyeh!"

"what about sakiko?"

"she left me without- without-sniff- dineeeer!"

Michael just sighed. the idiot was calling him because sakiko decided not to make dinner?

"WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE SHE NEVER LEAVE US WITHOUT DINNER! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!"

then again most of the characters here are idiots.

johnny who was sitting in the couch just looked at the clueless idiot. (AN: johnny rest in peace i love you 1/29/10)

"you are such an idiot, we can just eat at taco bell."

Michael glared at johnny.

"taco bell? you think Mexican food can replace sakiko's famous arroz con leche or her CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES?!!!"

johnny stared up into space.

"she w-w-was sup-supposed to- to make cookies and a turkey dinneeeeeeeer!"

sasuke sobbed.

"omigod!" cried johnny.

* * *

--ocean ridge building 3c room 42 kitchen

-kshing-zing-kshing-zing-

"sakiko as much as you are welcome in our kitchen, YOU CANT BE HERE WHEN THE ADULT STUDENTS ARE HERE!"

the head chef glared at her.

"what? i just wanna sharpen the knives! cant i do that?"

sakiko continued sharpening the chef knives, admiring them and carefully cleaning them lovingly almost as if they were delicate.

"your scaring the adults and your not staying in my kitchen without a uniform!" the chef scolded her with his hands on his hips.

sakiko ignored her teacher and continued sharpening the knives.

"hey that's my job kid."

"hey Carlos." the chef patted the boys back.

the boy was average sized, not too tall not too short. He had dark copper skin and he was a little buff, his dark brown eyes just gave sakiko a questioning look as he smiled with his thin lips and his thick brows twitched.

"hey Carlos, don't you ever shave?"

its true, he has a little bit of hair on his chin.

"sakiko, why are you giving chef masa a hard time?"

he ruffled sakiko's hair and smiled at the head chef, chef maraharu morimoto. Everyone usually called him chef morimoto or maraharu, but sadly sakiko and some of the other chefs in training just called him mara. which of course, he didn't really like.

" I'm just pissed, sasuke is being a jerk, then again hes always a jerk."

sakiko continued sharpening the knives.

"well you want to talk about it?" asked Carlos.

"what am i a girl?" asked sakiko laughing.

* * *

sasuke sighed as he took a banana peel off his face.

why is he doing that?

well...

-FLASH BACK-

"sakikooooooooo!!" sasuke ran down the street running at full speed, every now and then adjusting his Sculley.

Behind him was a horde of fan girls.

"OMG OMG OMG! THERE HE IS!"

Sasuke continued running and cut a corner.

Then he hid in a trash can.

-END FLASHBACK-

And now hes here all dirty and sticky and…yeah…

He sniffed his hair, and flinched he would be taking a looooooong bubble bath.

"arrrgh."

" oh…crap…"

"grrraah…"

"nice raccoon. You wouldn't bite me would you? With your rabies and-"

"rrraaaaar!!"

"AAAAAH!!!!"

* * *

"HAHAHAHAHA!" sakiko laughed laudly.

"Ben your hilarious."

Sakiko had her feet up on a chair. She was talking with the seniors and the adults having a good time.

* * *

-ocean ridge 6pm

"sasuke are you home? sorry i ran off its just-"

"Sakiko what are you doing here?"

sakiko just stared at the half naked thing that stood in front of her.

"please tell me that is not the new Victoria secret underwear that i just bought...."

sasuke then shifted his wight.

"okay then i wont tell you its the new underwear you bought that im wearing"

sakiko stood completely still.

"look im know this is incredibly awkward but let me explain."

-flushing sound-

"ahhh that feels better... so baby brother why don't we try on her teddies nex-"

itachi stopped in mid sentence.

"sakiko-chan...your...early..."

sakiko's eye twitched in huuuuuuuuuuuuuge disgust and stress.

suddenly to make matters even worse than what they originally are, the most disturbing peice of crap that sakiko has ever seen just came out of her room.

its not like its actual crap but this was totally close enough and just as disturbing.

"hello boys! how do i look?"

"sesshomaru now is soooo not a good time."

"he's wearing my thhhh...." sakiko could not bring herself to say it. sesshomaru who by the way was modeling in his...new thing, hardly even noticed sakiko.

" so who is up for a sexy party- oh snap..."

the boys just stared at the girl who practically had a look between ' im going to punch you in the throat' and 'my name is inigo montoya you killed my father, prepare to die.'

"you know what sinse you guys are being complete ediots im just going to leave. Enjoy your dinner."

sakiko suddenly closed the door and shuttered

"disturbance!" she cried.

* * *

-somewhere else other than here

Edward Cullen suddenly looked up from his book with a questioning look.

"what's eatin' ya ed?" asked Jacob who was reading a rolling stone magazene.

"my spidy sense is tingling!"

"?!" Jacob looked at Edward with a 'your weird and i don't like you' kind of look.

"Edward do not tell me those things! it gives people a weird idea!"

"...-gasp- you PERVERT!"

"your the one that's thinking it!"

* * *

-back to where we started

*slam*

"duuuude i think sakiko is super pissed."

"you think?!"

"what are we gonna do for dinner?"

"well...lets eat, sasuke"

itachi gave sesshomaru a surprised look.

"now try it without the apostrophe."

"...OH!"

the two men smiled and stared at sasuke.

By now he was starting to cower in a corner. "w-what are you gonna do?"

"don't worry sasuke, this is only gonna hurt like a mother."

"-BIG GIRLY SCREAM-"

* * *

-docks.

sakiko sighed and stared at the ocean. the sun was setting slowly into the horizon.

behind her was a shadow.

one that was not her own.

"oh my twitchy witchy girl... i think you are so nice-"

suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed her.

"HEY! LET GO OF-"

-crack-

sakiko's head suddenly dropped to her chest. It was obvious the figure behind her, was smiling a menacing smile.

* * *

WELL that was a good chapter for now

sorry for the delay everyone, I've been extremely busy!

plus since the standardized test came up I've had no rest.

and remember i don't own any one in this story, only the various characters that i invent.

please keep that in mind .

and to johnny my sweet monkey man.

i love you.

RIP 1/29/10


	7. Chapter 6 LWT lets waste time

oh sweet joy now im on chapter...uhhhhh...6...

ranma: are you sure its okay for me to be in here?

yes... i dont really see why not.

ranma: cuz i mean, alot of people don't know i exist.

honey there are only two people that actually review this story.

ranma: so.

sooooo...lets just start the stupid story.

Chapter 6 lets waste time.

Okay now its chapter six, its spring break!

Kogome: am I going to come out this episode?

I don't know kogome I'm just inventing stuff as I go!

Kogome: YAAAAAY!!!!!!

Oy…

Sakura: you do know its no longer spring break right? You were just to lazy to actually keep writing this thing.

Join the program, right grif?

Grif- meh.

Chapter 6 lets waste time

"okay first of all, why did you kidnap me? Second of all OW!! Did you really think that hitting me in the head would seriously knock me out?! Ow! That just freakin' hurts you moron!"

"oh sorry I just thought that would knock you out, and that I can just take you to my secret base."

"well that just hurts!!"

Sakiko rubbed her head annoyed at her kidnaper.

"okay, then if you're not knocked out that just means I have to carry you over to the base."

"you cant carry me. I'm to fat and heavey to carry."

"your talking to a really buff guy here."

" you are talking to a really fat girl you know."

"uhhhh.. well are we just going to talk or are we going to the base?"

"uhh well since you are threatening to take me to your base and I don't really want to go…yeah…I'm not going."

"I kidnapped you, you have to come with me!"

"no I don't! free will!"

"you know what? if you don't just shut up I will hit you in the head again."

"I don't wanna"

-WHACK-

"ow!!!!"

"now you can either come with me calmly or kicking and screaming."

"you know what you covered up dung bag?…I'd like to go kicking and screaming, now that I don't really have a choice and that the reader really needs to move on to the main plot of the story."

"okay then."

The figure suddenly picked the girl and started dragging her down the docks to the street.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"you know you don't have to scream so loudly."

" I did request kicking and screaming didn't i?"

"uhh yes. Yes you did."

"then?"

"okay, okay you can scream."

"thank you. Now where was i? OH! Right. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" oh shut up." growled the figure as it swung the girl on to its shoulder.

"oh wow you really are buff!"

She then struggled as she saw the position that she was in. her face was right next to its butt.

"don't you dare fart!" she warned.

-dorms ocean ridge

- Cullen dorm

"no you are!"

"no you stupid blood sucker, you are!"

Bella looked at the two boys fighting each other; she seemed entertained and unwilling to ask of what the argument is really about. I mean, seriously if somebody was arguing and one of them is one of those crazy or really old friend of yours. You probably wouldn't want to ask what was going on. This is the way Bella felt right now.

"shut up you stupid dog!"

"blood sucking jerk!"

Given at the time Alice has come home.

"what are Edward and Jacob arguing about?"

Bella looked at alice who was just coming into the dorm.  
"hm? Oh hi alice!"

"hi, what are Edward and Jacob arguing about?"

"uhh. I'm not really sure, but then again I don't really want to ask, you know what I mean?"

"I understand, last time I asked what was going on I think I suffered mental damage."

Bella laughed a little and continued watching the fight while eating some blood hinted popcorn.

"hey give me some of that!" alice sat down on the couch next to bella and started watching the fight while eating pop corn.

"shut up you smelly dog!"

"well atleast I'm not as smelly as your face!"

"oh you are so immature!"

Jacob suddenly turned his attention to the couch.

"I'm sorry but are you two entertained?!"

Edward suddenly looked back and huffed.

"hi alice, hello sweetheart."

"hi Edward. Jakie."

"what up?"

The two girls continued eating.

"are you entertained with this?!" asked Jacob a little angry at the two females.

"yes, yes we are," answered alice.

"you agree with me don't you bella?" asked Edward hopeful.

"okay one- I don't know what this is about, two- I'm not in this!"

"dammit!!" hissed Edward.

-else where.

Sasuke looked up at the Cullen dorm.

"what are they doing?" asked itachi.

"talking. That's all their doing. That's all they ever do." Said sasuke to itachi.

"what are they talking about?"

Sasuke was at this point very annoyed.

"I don't know, if you are so curious about it. Why don't you go up there and join them. I on the other hand need to look for sakiko!"

Itachi put his hands up to defend himself.

"okay, okay relax! Sheesh."

"I'm sorry; it's just that I am concerned! I mean whom else is going to cook for us!"

"Sasuke, you do know you used whom wrong. And also what's with the whom?! Where are we? England?! That stuff is only for the brits dude. Quit trying to use vocabulary."

Sasuke just glared at his older brother.

"are you done?!"

"maybe."

"well stop were wasting the readers time."

"people are actually reading this crap?!"

"yes they are! Now move it!"

Sasuke demanded hitting itachi on the head.

"ow!"

"oh quit complaining."

- else where

The dark figure walked into a dark building rather annoyed with the girl that hung on his shoulder.

"okay, this is getting really annoying, please put me down," Said sakiko "my tummy is starting to hurt."

"not until I take you to the leader. Now shut up."

"you cant tell me what to do."

"ahhhhhhh…"

It put her down on a chair and turned on a light that blinded her. You know the ones that they always use in movies or in CSI? Yeah, that.

The girl blinked multible times annoyed with the bright light and with the uncomfterable chair she was sitting apon.

" well, well, well, look at what we have here."

"dude you kidnapped me, why are you talking like your surprised."

"shut up!"

In front of the girl was another dark figure, but this one was different. It was wearing a black cloak and it looked sortof familiar.

"wait a second…"

"yes sakiko, it is I…"

"I knew that you would come for me someday. But I never thought today…"

-back in the dorms of ocean ridge.

"no body knows the trouble ive seen. Nobody but jesus"

"dammit dexter I thought I told you to shut up already!"

"oh common dick, cant you just enjoy your self for once?"

"I'm really buisy here okay dexter?"

"okay okay, jeez."

-knock- -knock-

"password?" answered dexter.

"open the damn door!"

"I need the password."

"password!"

Dexter opened the door.

"What up Lenard?"

Dexter smiled at his old friend and moved aside to let him in.

Dexter was a tall kid with light brown hair and deep grey eyes. The kid was a little buff and had a strong set of arms but he had a little bit of chubby on his stomach, but one could hardly notice.

Lenard on the other hand was just as buff but only a little thinner despite having a little bit of unnoticeable chubbiness on his stomach as well. The boy had deep grey eyes and coal black hair with a bit of white at the back ends.

Both of them were pale and well acquainted with one another.

" hey man did you hear what happened?" said dexter.

"nope. I barely pay attention to whats going on anymore. I'm just tired of these idiots."

"well I tell ya. I'm in a bit of a shock myself. Seems that sakiko left sasuke. Now we don't have dinner tonight."

"WHAT?! She cant do that to us! That's it I'm totally kicking sasukes ass!"

"I know. Dick has been planning for us."

Dexter pointed to dick who was sitting by the computer thinking of a way to get back at sasuke.

Dexter was also buff but he on the other hand looked a little healthier than dexter and Lenard. He had brownish blond hair that he slicked back with the exeption of a few bangs sticking out. He also had pale skin and deep blue eyes. He was the nerd and the straight man of the group.

"so far I have this. We go inside sasukes room and we trash it . then when he comes in we hit him with some water ballons and shaving cream, then we kick his ass for pissing off mom," he said while typing on the keyboard.

"sound fun and satisfying," said Lenard impressed.

Dexter only sighed " sounds like a lot of work to me."

(A.N.- mom is sakiko by the way, its her nickname along with squishy or mother)

Dick only stared back at his roommate. " oh common dex, quit being so lazy and do something for once."

-knock- -knock-

"password?"

"common dude! Let us in!"

"I need the password."

"oh common dude! I cant just stay here and figure out the password!"

Dexter opened the door.

"huh?"

" the password is password."

"wow…"

"what up Lavernious, Mj?"

Lavernious was slightly smaller than the others only an inch, he was thin but also very buff. He had coal black hair and pure green eyes.

Mj on the on the other hand was an inch taller than everyone else and just as buff but anyone can tell that he was the strongest. Mj had light blue eyes and short blond hair.

"Mj are you alright? Your kind of quiet." Asked Lenard

"ahh nothing I'm just…. Really reeaaally tired. I think ill just take a looong nap."

Everyone suddenly looked over at MJ.

"okay."

Dexter examined Mj a little.

"Why are you staring at me?" asked Mj a little freaked out .

"Nothing you just look… well a little…uhhh…tweaked."

Mj then blinked slowly and sighed.

"I want to go to bed." He complained.

The boy then sat on the couch and he closed his eyes tired.

"What have you been doing Mj you look more knocked out than the time Dexter hit his head when he walked into the bar?"

He did actually, everyone else ducked under it.  
Mj just let out a soft snore.

"what was he doing today anyways?" asked Lenard.

-4 hours ago.

"welcome back." Sakiko struggled under the shadowed figures grip.

"dude I don't know who the hell you are but I'm really startn' to get annoyed!" she hissed.

"Hello… 'Mother' did you miss me?"

"YOU!"

"I'm not a ewe, a ewe is a female sheep. I'm David."

"shut up I know what you are!"

"do you?"

"no man. I'm just talking to ya like nothin's happenin' and I'm just wasting the readers time."

"I can always just-"

"shut up man. Lets just leave this for the next episode."

"do you think the others will be mad?"

"nahhh. Right kogome?"

"YAY I WAS INCLUDED!"

ranma suddenly appeared on the scene.

"YOU DID NOT INCLUDE ME ONCE YOU BIT-"

Well that's enough 4 now. Even if it has been like 69 months already.

Don't worry with due time ill post a new chapter.

LOL

This was 4 you john. May you rest in piece.

And to my dear readers. Forgive me. It is now 7:27 pm Sunday, May 02, 2010.

Love you all

Sakiko of soleana.

NEXT CHAPTER: chapter 7 my lawyers made me change the name of this title so I wouldn't get sued.


	8. Chapter 7 too long to title

Okay now I'm on like the seventh chapter I think.

Ranma: this is the seventh… AND YOU BETTER INCLUDE ME THIS TIME! I DON'T WANT TO BE PUT IN AT THE LAST MINUTE LIKE IN THE LAST CHAPTE-

Okay! God your so annoying. Okay people this is the seventh chapter. And also just for those readers-

Ranma: we only have two readers! AnimeMixDJ and XxEriaChanxX!

Shut up will you? Two is better than one!

Caboose: in a top ten list one is better than two!

Church: this is not a top ten list!

…

Okay and because people are complaining to me that this is supposed to be a naruto and inuyasha thing I'm going to add a Naruto sasuke moment that I thought about now.

But remember THIS IS A STORY ABOUT EVERYTHING! All the video games, books, and all the crappy things that run in a teens life. The thing I hate the most obviously twilight. I like it but I hate it. So there! Now for the moment.

Naruto: oh you gotta be kidding me! Have you seen those naruto abridged videos?

Sasuke: oh yeah, they're pretty funny.

Naruto: funny?

Sasuke: yes, each one is a clever look at the original show and our personalitys.

Nauruto: oh what a shock! Of course you like them! They make you look like a saint!

Sasuke: they made me the emo kid that looks like an ass!

Naruto: but **I'M** played as a thick headed **moron**

Sasuke: you're not listening to me are you?

Naruto:with all the **wit** of crushed ice and the **personality** of a brain dead fratboy!

Sasuke: do me a favor naruto, and see if this fits.

-hands him a shoe-

And because people think this is also an inuyasha thing.

Inuyasha and sesshomaru moment!

Inuyasha: wow! Did you see that guy? He just totaled his opponent from half way across the pit. Naraku is awesome sometimes.

Sesshomaru: Naraku! Blah blah blah! He thinks he's so hot with his shape shifting powers. That damn thing is totally stealing my thunder man! I mean where does he get off shifting like me?

Inuyasha: you might want to calm down there man…

Sesshomaru: calm down? **Calm down! **That man is a threat to my entire way of life **AND YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOW- BARK BARK RWAR GRRRR! **

Inuyasha: heel boy!

Sesshomaru: heh-heh sorry.

Inuyasha: I told you to calm down.

AND THAT WAS YOUR MOMENT. NOW QUIT BOTHERING ME!

Chapter 7 my lawyers made me change the name of this title so I wouldn't get sued.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"so uhhh… sakiko you lost some weight, you working ou-"

Director: uhh guys the story is on.

"oh snap! Okay then uhhm where were we?"

-FLASHBACK-

"welcome back." Sakiko struggled under the shadowed figures grip.

"dude I don't know who the hell you are but I'm really startn' to get annoyed!" she hissed.

"Hello… 'Mother' did you miss me?"

"YOU!"

"I'm not a ewe; a ewe is a female sheep. I'm David."

"shut up I know what you are!"

"do you?"

"no man. I'm just talking to ya like nothin's happenin' and I'm just wasting the readers time."

"I can always just-"

"shut up man. Lets just leave this for the next episode."

"do you think the others will be mad?"

"nahhh. Right kogome?"

"YAY I WAS INCLUDED!"

ranma suddenly appeared on the scene.

"YOU DID NOT INCLUDE ME ONCE YOU BIT-"

-END FLASHBACK-

"OHH!"

"ranma don't curse at the author!" said sakiko giving ranma a dirty look.

" grr."

"now get out of here! You two kogome! Your not supposed to be here until later."

Kagome smiled "OKAY!" while ranma just cursed under his breath.

"-Unknown swears-"

Sakiko just rolled her eyes and continued to stare at the dark figures before her.

" David. i would have known."

"How?"

"dude shut up, that's what the good guy always says every time they see the bad guy, even tho that is the only guy that exists in the whole damn show."

" seriously, I hate those shows."

"ditto. So what do you want from me dave? What do you have too much starch in your underwear again?"

"as a matter of fact yeah- wait! No! that's not why I brought you here."

Sakiko raised a brow, " uhh dude. Technically you didn't bring me here. The strong dude that can carry me brought me here." She said while pointing at the main shadowed figure.

"okay fine. I ordered for you to be here, happy?"

"dude I'm not a flipin' pizza, you can't just order for me. What the hell do you want anyway?"

David let out a tired sigh, "look. I just wanted you to give me an explination."

"that's it? You drag me away from a good moment on the beach just to give you an explination on something. Either A: your really nosey or B: your stupid."

"oh be quiet! I want you to explain to me why you're not making dinner and if your breaking up with sasuke. Every one wants to know so Michael hired me to find out."

" that lazy bastard, fine ill explain. I'm upset, sasuke is expecting me to pay for the damages done to the dorm and for a new toaster. So pissed I decided not to cook tonight, and knowing that It affects everyone because ya'll always mooch off me, I figured you all will beat up sasuke for pissing me off, and hoping all of you would apprechiate me more. And no I'm not his girlfriend dumbass I just live with the stupid bastard. So we never broke up or got together to begin with."

David stayed quiet.

"women are so complicated. Anyways back to sasuke, yeah I get your point, you should be pissed , it was his fault in the first place."

"thank you."

"so that's it?"

"yeah."

"that's not a really good reason for you not to make dinner for every one you know. I mean your food is orgasmic the only reason to stop cooking should be that the food was poisoned or there's an anime convention you need to attend or your dying."

"yeah I know, but really I just don't want to deal with it. You know I'm thinking about getting everyone to pay me for dinner. I'm the one wasting my money for food in the first place. Maybe start a restaurant."

"you're the one who makes food for everyone in the first place. Besides its partly your fault."

"yeah your right. But the restaurant thing is a good idea tho. You know I'm just going to stop cooking for everyone. Ill just cook enough for me and sasuke."

"yeah you should make a restaurant. And no, that won't last long. You know you like our company, and showing off. Besides you know that the day you stop we will riot."

"that's because all of you barely pay attention to me. You guys forgot about my birthday twice and you guys never really take concern on me if I disappear."

"that wasn't our fault! Sasuke just forgot to inform us and so did you! And also I think everyone will notice when we no longer have orgasmic food with us."

"…"

"hey I'm just being honest."

Sakiko rolled her eyes at david and turned towards the door. "yeah. I'm out of here. Mj you wanna join? I need to blow off some steam."

The shadowed figured nodded and finally decided to take off his cloak.

"how did you know it was Mj?" asked david surprised.

"logic. He is strong and you're here. I had to guess it was Mj."

"smart."

-later…

"so where do you wanna go Mj?" asked sakiko bored.

" I want some cake!" chirped Mj happily.

"okay! Lets look for a place to find cake!"

-NOW-

"so you just went out on a date with mother." Said Lavernious incredibly annoyed.

"yeah kind of. It was more like we went on rides, ate food and played games kind of date not the one with all the hand holding and kissy stuff…" said mj with a yawn.

"I see…" said Lenard. " what did you guys do exactly?" he asked.

"we went on rides and we got food! And we played games and we had hot dogs and hamburgers and chili cheese fries and cake and cheese fries and potato chips and corn on the cob and shishcabobs and jiros and funnel cake and turkey leg, and chilidogs and sloppy joes and cotton candy and pizza and elephant ears and candyapples and roasted nuts and ices and lemonade and lollipops and soda and milkshakes and oranges and orang juice and crepes and waffles and grilled chicken and taffy and icecream and chocolate and some otherstuff!" said mj who was running out of breath.

"okay mj, we don't need to know everything. So what is mother feeling better? Or is she still pissed off?"

"a little, she's coming over later today. So like yeah…clean up."

Everyone glared at mj.

"hey she's cooking for us so might as well make this place…well, nicer before she starts bitching at us?"

Dexter sighed in frustration and just shook his head. "man I don't want to clean." He complained.

"you want sakiko to cook for us and make us happy for about an hour or would you like her to stay pissed off and never cook again?" said dick very annoyed.

"uhhhhhhhh."

"yeah I thought so biotch!"

-elsewhere.

"ugggh. My stomach…" complained sakiko. She was in the 2nd apartment sasuke would rent for vacations. Or just a summer apartment., you could call it that.

"dammit I thought I told sasuke to clean this place…"

The apartment was small. Good enough for one person or two people.

From the door to the left was a small bathroom with a shower/bath tub and a small sink with a mirror/cabinet.

From there was a bunch of drawers and cabinets meant for clothes and other stuff people would bring on vacations with a huge mirror. From there was the living room/bed room/dining room. On the right was the small kitchen with a small oven and a dish washer. The rest was counter and cabinet. Only two people could fit in there.

There was also a small table with four chairs and right next to it was a refrigerator.

The on the right side was a huge door like thing. Behind the door like thing was a pull out bed.

Then the tv was set in a small corner with an xbox 360 and a wii. And two small love seats were placed on the right hand and one in the middle.

It was a cosy place…

"man I'm starving…."

Sakiko opened the refrigerator and found it to be empty.

"great…" the girl then looked into her wallet and found 100 bucks.

"well sakiko the only thing that's bad about you… you never take the pesos out of your flippin wallet." She sighed. "I guess I'm going to have to go to a publix…"

Don't worry the vacation home is at the beach by down town.

God don't you just love imagination? Its fun!

Sponge bob: f is for fun-

NO! no song.

Sponge bob: (continues) u is for u and me~!

SPONGE BOB!

Sponge bob: N is for anywhere and any one at all-

How does N stand for anywhere? It starts with an A!

Every one exept for the auther: DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA~!

WERE NOT IN THE OCEAN! I hate you guys

-sometime later

Sakiko walked back into the apartment with a paper bag full of groceries.

Once she was done putting everything away she turned on the tv and-

"~quen vive en una pina debajo del mar! BOB ESPONGA!~"

Obviously it was in SAP.

OH COME ON! THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE!

Tucker: don't complain dude you're the one writing.

GRRRRR!

Tucker: woah! Don't look at me girl, I'm a lover not a writer.

"okay if you two don't stop arguing I'm going to beat you so damn hard your great grand children will feel it!"

The girl was already fed up enough to actually try to take the tv off of SAP.

"ahha!" sakiko screamed/cried in agony and boredom.

Tucker: you just ran out of things to write about haven't you…

Well….this episode is pointless. Now that I've read it through I kind of don't know where I'm headed here…

Tucker: uhhh…yeah this is pointless… you wanna start the chapter over?

Nah… I'm too lazy…

-back at the other, other apartment.

"okay so you guys are on a date?"

" its not a date! We just went to the fair together and shared some food and went on rides. Not a date." Explained Mj really annoyed.

"okay dude, so tell us. Wheres mother?"

"I didn't really ask. But she did tell me to meet her at the karaoke bar tonight. She wants me to bring franklin over. She told me she just wants to be alone…but its not really like she wants to kill sasgay shes just tired of carrying every one you know? Also she feels like no one really cares. You know girl stuff."

"I kind of feel her" said leonard " I have to carry you guys!" he complained.

"anyways I gotta go, I need to get ready to see mother."explained Mj "oh uhh dexter!"

"yeah dude?"

"can you lend me some axe?"

"which one?"

"uhhh…the chocolate one she likes that one."

"okay take it, its in the bathroom in the mirror cabinet thing."

"thanks."

Mj headed toward the bathroom and then returned to heading out the door.

"see you guys."

The room was quiet for about two seconds

"okay they are totally going on a date."

"oh shut up dick, mother hates dumb people. Obviously she couldn't really go out with Mj."

" okay I think we should follow mj and see whats going on."

"leonard! Are you suggesting we be spies?" exclaimed Lavernious.

"yes."

"whoohoo! Okay I'm calling franklin and sarge!"

"don't call franklin, he's going to the karaoke bar."

"ohhhhh dude. Right, right."

"okay its settled. Lets do this."

"hoorah!":

The boys hi fived each other and left out the door.

"ugh…no…no… I don't wanna…" groaned sakiko in her sleep. She was taking a short nap. You know its great to take a nap especially if you comeback from school. You know like the old days…god I miss the old days…

High school was from 7:30 to 2:30, middle school was from 9:00 to 3:40 those lucky bastards…and the elementary kids…8:00 to 3:00 and on Wednesdays 8:00 to 1:00 or 2:00 depending on the district and state… even luckier jerks… well who cares school is hard for everyone. Dude and did you see what they did to us in highschool now? They changed the time by 10 minutes! Idiots now I need to be in school by 7:20! 7:20! Are you fuc-

Church: uuhh kid the story? Enough of your ranting.

Sorry…

"no more homework." Groaned sakiko.

"_*~tune~ Myaa Myaa Myankology de Jinrui mya? To TOREBIA~N!*"_

"ah!" sakiko jumped at the sound of her cell phone. Sadly she fell to the floor.

-click- "h-hai moshi moshi?"

"~mother? Are you ok?~"

"eh? Oh Mj whats up dude?"

"~I'm here too!~"

"hey Frankie, what's going on?"

"~where are you girl? Where already here at T.G.I. Fridays.~"

"WHAT? What time is it?"

"~its time for cake!~" said Mj in a cheery voice.

"~its 6 o' clock. Your half an our late.~" said franklin. "~you better hurry~"

"oh okay ill be over there in a while."

Sakiko hung up on her friends and ran towards the bathroom taking a quick shower, shampooing her hair and shaving and applying creams and conditioning and washing and rinsing all in record time.

Then she jumped out and quickly dried herself and started plucking anything she didn't want to see on her face such as the new hairs that would appear on her freshly plucked eyebrows or she would try to inspect her face for any unreasonable blemishes or blackheads or pimples that would constantly annoy her once they appeared.

Have you ever noticed that those things always appear at the wrong moments? Like when you're out with friends or when you're going to a party or something important one gigantic pimple suddenly appears out of nowhere? God that pisses me off!

At this point sakiko was going through the wardrobe that was carefully put in the closet. She found something that satisfied her. It was a brown dress that had short puffed sleeves that would slide off a shoulder. It was plain but perfect. It would make her chest look large and would show her colerbone and legs off perfectly. The dress was up to her knees. She smiled as she found a nice black belt and some sturdy high heels.

-T.G.I. Fridays

"where is she?" mumbled Franklin worried.

"do you think she got abducted by aliens?"

"no Mj."

"Frankie! Mj!" sakiko came towards them.

The two boys smiled as they saw her.

" well your looking sexy. Whats the ocation?"

"nothing. Why are you two looking so hot eh? What is your ocation?"

"nothing. We just wanted to look good."

Franklin is rather fruity. He had blond hair and large blue eyes with delicate pale white skin and strawberry pink cheeks. Franklin was thin and very agile. He had a super tight white t-shirt and some tight skinny jeans that were dark blue and a pink belt.

"why are you wearing a pink belt?" asked sakiko.

"its not pink! Its lightish red!" complained franklin.

"frankie. There is an easier way to say lightish red. Its called pink." Said sakiko sarchasticly.

"what ever." Said franklin annoyed.

Mj on the other hand had a black shirt underneath a blue collared shirt with short sleeves and some dark blue jeans with rips by the knees.

The smell of axe suddenly attracted sakiko to him.

"mmmm. Chocholate axe, whered you get that Mj?" asked sakiko suddenly resting on his chest. "I got it from dexter. Hes nice." Said Mj cheerfully. On the other side of the restaraurant was the group of boys spying on sakiko and on the other two boys. "oh man, I knew it! They are on a date!" complained Lavernious. "man Mj gets everything!"

"oh shut up already, Mj has axe on. You know she goes gaga for that stuff. and I don't mean lady gaga I mean like 'OMG I love it' gaga. I remember she pounced on me because I had some on. And remember robertico? He didn't come out of his room for a week because of her and eria going nuts because of his axe." Explained Lavernious.

"I guess. But still all the ladys love Mj…do they like it when theyre dumb?"

"apparently. I mean look at all the stupid highschool chicks."

"yeah nerds rule."

"nerds have futures."

"don't forget the anime people. They have creativity."

"yeah…but then again…nerds and anime people read fanfictions and people who read and write fanfictions-"

"no."

"but-"

"no. they do have lives. We rule you suck."

"okay. Jeez."

"we provide entertainment for the public dude…just like celebreties, we rule. Were doing a public service…hoorah."

The waitress just stared at the boys "uhh like yeah. can I like, take your order?" she was a blond cheerleader.

"uhhh yeah."

"yeah can you like gimmie a like chicken fajita like with some guacamole hold the stupid like?"

-on the other side with sakiko franklin and Mj

"hi my name is Jacob. Ill be your waiter this evening what would you like to order?"

"hullo, id like an appetizer for all of us. Some potatoe skins for me some the quesadilla thing I love and to drink a chocolate milkshake. What do you guys want?"

"are you ok? I thought you were on a diet." Said franklin a little worried.

"I'm kindof is always the answer."

"well i-"

"up next is franklin and Michael Jonathan!"

"uh-oh. Were next Mj lets go!"

"yay!"

Franklin grabed a microphone and started to sing.

"like a virgin touched for the very first time!"

"were not singing that."

"you suck."

Franklin: _in the marmalade forest._

Mj: _beneath the makebeleive trees._

Franklin: _in a cottage cheese cottage._

Mj: _lives albi_

Franklin: _albi_

Mj: _albi_

Franklin: _albi_

Both: _albi the racist dragon!_

"aww dammit why do these idiots have to sing?" complained Lavernious.

"aw look at sakiko she looks so depressed."

"yeah she's sooo hot in that strapless" said dexter.

Everyone looked at him.

"what?"

AND NOW FOR A MOMENT WITH STEPHANIE AND PERLA!

Perla: hey stephie

Steph: oh what? What the hell do you want this time? Maybe you want me to be the cape goat for one or your stupid pranks! Maybe you want me to speak some arcane and outdated alien slang for no reason or what, you want me to get me pummeled with grenades! **What kind of mean-spirited, thoughtless, heartless jackassy kind of thing do you want to do to me today?**

Perla:Oreo?

Steph:-bites her lip-

AND THAT WAS ANOTHER USLESS MOMENT WITH STEPHIE AND PERLA!

Yeah I'm starting to get writers block so I'm just going to leave it here.

Church: you cant just leave it here! I wanna know what happens!

You and sakiko make out and go to the beach and have fun the end.

Church: FINNISH THE DAMN CHAPTER!

OKAY!

Back with le boys

"know what the author is right we should take a break I mean she has writers block!"

Church: don't even start with me tucker!

You know what? My story.

Sorry it took so long for me to do chapter seven. But lets face some facts here. I'm a teenager, I'm an alchoholic and I'm just to lazy to actually write to my deadline like every other auther in the world.

So withought further adue.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!

Church: **WAIT!**

Whaaaaaaaahahahahhahhaaaat? God…

Church: you forgot about the wheel of morality!

Oh yeah… well why don't we accompany it with some useless facts!

Church: damn straight hit it yakko!

AND NOW FOR A USLESS FACT.

Yakko: unlike humans shrimps have there hearts located in the head not the chest.

Hey shrimpy. Headache?

Shrimp holding its head.

Shrimp: no heart burn.

AND THAT WAS A **USELESS** FACT.

Church: that was freaken awesome….

Okay now for yakko to hit the wheel of morality!

Yakko: I don't wanna hit it!

No I mean- just start the damn thing!

Kogome: Language!

Shut up.

Yakko: wheel of morality turn turn turn turn show us the lesson that we should learn. Lesson number five… NEVER EVER ask what hot dogs are made of.

That is so deep.

Church: yes how very inappropriate. Thank you.

Okay guys thanks for reading and sorry for taking so long. It is 9:15 pm July 21, 2010. Good night every one be looking forward for chapter eight. Called why are we here? So you guys ill see you when I see you.. . good bye.

Ranma: you still didn't add me!

OH SHUT UP!

oh and one more thing for those of you who are rvb fans... DONUT LIVES! **HE LIVES!**-tears of joy-


	9. Chapter 8 Why are we here?

Okay dudes… yeah chapter eight… I know it has been a LOOOOONG time but here it is!

Yeah….

Yeah…

Donut: you still have total writers block don't you?

Yeah…

Donut: what to braid each other's hair?

Yeah…

Chapter 8 why are we here?

After Franklin and Mj's song the two sat down only to find sakiko still rather annoyed and depressed.

" oy! I want an apple martini here followed by smex on le beach!" shouted sakiko to the bartender.

"commin' up!"

Franklin stared at sakiko. "arnt you a little young to be drinking?"

"arnt you al little to old to be wearing twinckle toes by schetchers?"

"touché hic-a -doo-la." Said franklin with an annoyed expression.

" so what now you drink until you get drunk?" asked franklin.

"no I'm just going to drink until I'm tipsy. Then ill just drink a diet coke…" said sakiko in a glum voice.

"I know how to make you better!"

-boys table.

"well the thing with mj, sure he's dumb but he's not that bad looking. All the hot chicks seem to like him." Said leonard.

"yeah I do… he's like so hot." Said the dumb blond waitress.

"will you like get the crap out of here like?" said Richard super annoyed.

"okay so what now we ate we drank and we payed he check. What now?"asked franklin sipping on some apple martini

"I want to go to the beach!" said mj exited.

"yeah that sounds fun. Lets do it!" said sakiko in an exited tone.

"okay." Said franklin obviously bored.

"CHECK PLEASE!" shouted sakiko

-with da boyz.

"hey Leonard where's Allison?" asked Richard.

"oh no. She didn't want to come, neither did Kaikaina. Man Dexter your sister has a weird ass name dude." Said Leonard.

"Yeah, everyone thinks it's a black name but it's not, its Hawaiian!" said Dexter.

"really?"

"yeah it means younger sibling of the opposite sex."

"huh."

"yeah."

"your uhhh… parents got a little lazy there didn't they?"

"yeah yeah they did…"

"so are you from Hawaii?"

"yeah I am."

"cool."

"yeah, I miss that place… the beach, surfing. I lived on the main island."

"so how do you say like…thanks or good morning."

"I think 'thanks' is mahallo."

"Isn't that-"

"What's the point of this conversation!" shouted Richard.

"uhh guys these people are leaving."

-in the car

"man these people are so dumb they think they can spy on us without us knowing that they're there!"huffed Franklin texting on his phone

"Yeah seriously. And who are you texting?"

"mm? I'm texting frank dufrense. He wants us to come by later."

"Oh I have an Idea why don't we all sleep over at the beach house tonight? I mean it's the weekend."

"True ill text him that!"

-later.

"Ok ya'll have everything?"

"Yep!"

"Frankie. What's with the utility belt?"

"I got tired of looking around my backpack for the things that make my life more convenient. Ive got my sidekick 3 here, because the browser is faster than the sidekick2. But I keep the sidekick 2 handy because I like the scroll bar. Here is where I keep my digital camera with the most megapixels." Said frank, pointing at different locations on his utility belt.

"So where is the grappling hook?" asked sakiko rather sarcastically.

"I've got it right here its make out of cat 5!" said frank exited.

Sakiko groaned and just rolled her eyes.

"Oh have you heard from miroku and inuyasha?"

"uhhh…"

-Scotland.

"I hope "we've lost your luggage" is Scottish for 'how 'bout a drink?'" said miroku rather upset.

"what the hell are we going to wear for the next four days!" cried inuyasha.

5 minutes later.

"I'm not wearing this." Said miroku, wearing a golfer suit.

"I don't know…I look pretty good!" said inuyasha in a janitors suit.

"you're not wearing that!"

1 hour later.

"are you one hundred percent sure it's okay for guys to wear skirts here? Isn't that just at folk festivals or theme parks?" asked miroku.

"Trust me. And they're called 'kilts' not 'skirts'. Seriously, your lack of knowledge of the culture makes us both look bad." Said inuyasha.

"Then why is everyone staring?" asked miroku who had a blue flower skirt.

Inuyasha had on a pink mini skirt showing off his pale hairless legs.

"probably because you need to wax. EW." Said inuyasha annoyed.

Clearly they both look gay.

-back with sakiko.

"Yeah I think they're cool."

"You sure? Cuz you don't sound very sure."

"Maybe?"

"Okay?"

"Yeah…"

AND NOW BECAUSE I RAN OUT OF IDEAS A MOMENT WITH ROXY AND BRYAN!

Roxy- I feel like I have a ball or rage inside me.

Therapist-anger is a natural impulse. What you need is a way to channel this pent up energy into non violent ways. This is a "pain pillow". Whenever you start to lose control, take it out on your "pain pillow" instead of your friends eventually you won't even need the pillow to express yourself non violently.

Roxy- you've never met bryan.

At work

Bryan- a pillow? Arent you at least going to pretend to be awake for work anymore?

Roxy- this is my "pain pillow". My psychiatrist says I should take my anger out on it. Instead of you idiots.

Bryan- then this might be a good time to tell you that I broke your laptop. With a baseball bat. Accidentally.

-roxy suffocates bryan with the "pain pillow-

Roxy- Hey its working!

And back to the show!

"Ok, let's talk about melee weaponry, the elites get their plasma blades. The brutes get the grav hammer. And a lot of people think that the UNSC should have and appropriate match. Many feel it should be culled from this familiar difficulty shield. But sadly, and no matter how much you want it, it just won't work. Allow me to demonstrate. MJ!" shouted sakiko while grabbing a replica of the Halo difficulty shield.

"Hello!"

-_**PRANG**_-

"What did you need me for sakiko?" asked Mj who now had a bump on his head.

"End of story." Said sakiko to frank.

"Fine ill stop heckling Bungie." Sighed frank.

"Uh sakiko they already made a knife for halo reach."

"Dammit."

Back with sasuke.

"so itachi have you found sakiko yet?"

"Huh?"

"Sakiko."

"Oh is that what I'm supposed to be looking for?"

"My bestie is missing and YOUR just sitting on the couch playing HALO?"

"Relax dude. What is she your girlfriend?"

-_Blush_-

"No."

"Then you secretly love her."

"No I don't! She's my sister."

"No she's not. We took her in when she washed up ashore. She doesn't even have the uchiha name. So you can go out with her."

"No dude!"

"~you like sakiko~"

"shut up!"

"and you like sakura~"

"SHUT UP!"

"AND YOU LIKE NARUTO~"

"ok now you're just naming the pairings in the fanficion world! Remember you and I are in there too!"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING! I WOULD NEVER GET WITH YOU! Maybe."

"WHAT?"

"shut up."

-back with the people …

"Man right now I feel all warm and fuzzy. Kind of like a big hair ball, the dry ones not the wet ones where you cough and cough-"

"ew! Sakiko!"

"What?"

"That's a horrible way to describe something."

"Fine you come up with something Franklin ."

"…"

"Thought so."

"Shut up I'm thinking."

Is this story going anywhere? I'm bored here.

"Shut up narrator you're the one writing the story!"

Oh fine ill come up with something soon okay!

-somewhere with naruto and sakura.

"Hey smiley" said naruto

"Hey naruto, whats going on?"asked sakura.

"Edward Cullen is trying to build the largest single stack of fusion coils ever assembled. I think he's hoping it'll earn him some recon, you know a main role in the story and the author's recognition."

"Id figured they'd give it to him for this section of the story."

"Nah, that's never enough for recon…no matter how hard someone works on it or how great it is!"

Above with Edward.

"Stay, stay, STAY!"

Back on earth a little later.

"Looks like he's about to place the last coil."

"Wow, that's impressive…we are going to throw grenades at the stack, right?"

"Like it was the LAW!"

-the next day

"Good morning everyone." Said naraku walking into his class. "So what do you guys have planned for- wait…where's sakiko? Is she tardy again?" said naraku rather annoyed.

"She's a little pissed off at sasuke, sensei. I think she will either be super late or just absent..." said sesshomaru glaring at sasuke.

"Oh?"

"Ohayo~" said sakiko walking into the classroom.

"SAKIMORI CASABLANKA UNITED STATES OF AMERICA UCHIHA YOU ARE IN **SOOOOOO** MUCH TROUBLE!" shouted sasuke at the top of his lungs banging his fists on his desk like a rabid monkey.

"meh?"

"uchiha no shouting in the class. That's my job! Now…a-hem… why are you late sakiko?"

"oh piss off, blame sasuke for my tardiness and also, DON'T YOU YELL AT ME MY MOTHER IS YOUR MOTHER OKAY?"

"your adopted, you don't have a mother." Said ino rather smugly.

"one, who are you? Two this isn't your fight, and three shut the fudge up ino you're a stupid slut because your father doesn't love you and treats you more like a burlap bag you stupid who-"

"sakiko! Sit down, no more insulting each other and just pay attention to class!" shouted naraku.

"screw this just mark me absent I'm out." Said sakiko sipping her coffie.

"oh no you don't!" shouted naraku and sasuke at the same time.

"sasuke for the last time. shouting is my job!"

In the hall

"sakiko!"

Sasuke ran down the hall to meet his roommate.

"what do you want sasuke."

"I want you to come home! I can't stand being in that empty dorm all by myself alone! And I just miss you okay?"

"Jeez, you're not even going to apologize to me?"

"What did I do?"

"Oh forget it, I don't want to talk to you, were even worse off than Edward and Bella!"

-Edwards apartment

"Edward I have a question."

"What is it Bella?"

"Yeah, its 9 am."

"That's not a question."

"No I mean its nine am. Isn't it a little early to be drinking beer and blood?"

"I'm on vacation."

"But you need to work in an hour."

"It's a short vacation."

"But aren't you supposed to be a good example for renesmee?"

"So are you but I see that you are still in your sexy teddy and not really doing anything about it."

"Shut up I have a hangover from last night."

"And who is the bad example?"

-later at the office..

"How many cups of coffee would you say sakiko drinks a day?" asked naruto to ranma.

"I dun no…fifteen?"

"At least. But she's so mellow; it doesn't seem to affect her at all… I wonder what would happen if we switched her coffee with decaf…?"

"let's try it."

-later that night at sakiko's funeral.

"well that was unexpected." Said naruto

"should we say a few words?" asked ranma.

"sakikooooooooooooo~" cried kari and sasuke.

"Ill miss her food." Said ithachi.

"I just beat super princess peach!" said eria.

"awesome high five!" said bryan.

"This is the worst funeral ever." Sighed Edward.

-later at 4am

~HERE LIES SAKIMORI CASABLANKA UNITED STATES OF AMERICA UCHIHA~

(I would have used a different font, but I'm dead)

The grave digger just shook his head and drank his coffee.

"poor kid." He mumbled dropping his espresso and walking away.

Then….

A hand comes out of the grave…

-next day.

"hey ryoga, are you looking at guitars on ebay?" asked sango walking into the office.

"yeah." –click-

"again?"

"yeah." –tak- -click-

"how many do you have now anyway?"

"four… 'bout to be five."

"do you have more guitars than underwear?"

"yeah, lots more!... I mean…uh."

"gross."

"eh yo sango comere for a sec will you?" asked itachi.

"yeah?"

"call everyone for a meeting."

"ok. YO PEOPLE STAFF MEETIN'!"

"I could have done that!"

"Then why'd ya ask me you dummy?"

"Ugh…"

"hey ita-chan whats up?" asked eria coming up to the older uchiha.

"look." Said itachi pointing to a certain desk.

Everyone turned around to see sakiko typing away on her computer.

"SAKIKO! I thought you were dead."

"no dude, I was just in a comatose state because SOME PEOPLE didn't even bother calling the hospital and made me drink decaf."

"oh…ok."

Sakiko just glared at the group.

"I really hate you people."

-later

"Hey fluffy thanks for coming." Said sakiko to sesshomaru with a smile.

"no problem. I'm going to get something from the coffee shop downstairs first. Want anything?" asked sesshomaru.

"a large coffee please." Said sakiko, returning to her work.

"a – hem" coughed sesshomaru holding out his hand.

"just tell them to put it on our tab." Said sakiko, typing away on the computer.

"cool!"

After fluffy- I mean sesshomaru walked out the door naruto just had to ask.

"we have a tab?"

"nope." Said sakiko smiling.

In the midst of everything sakiko was back and waiting to kick sasuke's ass

Well hope you enjoyed the story, sorry if it wasn't that funny and also yeah sorry it took so long I have the horrible disease of writers block. BUT FEAR NOT! it is winter vacation and I will be writing soon. Soooooon!

Zim: did you have to scream?

YES!


	10. I am so sorry! but fear not!

Erm yeah, hey people.

This is actually an author's note for all my stories. okay first of... my computer has a virus...AGAIN.

so i cant really make an update because my computer is just going nuts.

anyways.

Tools for Problem solving is going on a Hiatus. Why? because i am running out of good ideas.

Punch Club is probably going to be rewritten due to lack of reviews and also because i really hate how i wrote it at the moment. so i don't know whats going to happen with that one.

Behind the Little Door is alright i really aprechiate all of the support and such. sorry for not being able to update.

The Prodigy is also good dont worry about her.

and as for my latest project, well lets just say its not coming out good. soooooooooooooooooo yeah, i apologize for the inconvenience, i know your annoyed because you were expecting an update but hey.

MY COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS.

okay i love you all, thank you very much and see you possibly in a few weeks.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER

Sakiko Of Soleana.


End file.
